Blood on my Hands
by MomijisGirl
Summary: A duo Song fic I wrote a while ago, and was lost when my name was erased. Its duos iner thoughts on heero, the war and himself^_^


LaLa! Heya, Peeps! Its me, Ryota! Okay, so Its my first GW songfic on ever, so I gotta ask all of you reviewers to please be nice and no flaming, K? I absolutely LOVE Duo. (He's my baby^_^) Anyways, like I always says, I want tough but fair reviews, and as always, just plain REVIEW! K, people? I always love a good review!^_^ anyways, I'm gonna start now, so- Ja!  
  
This time, I chose a song by on of my fav artists from England, The Sundays. I really like how the chick sings, and this song seems to capture at least a little of how Duo must feel. I Hope ypu like it.  
Blood on my hands  
  
A Gundam Wing/ Duo songfic  
  
By Momijis' Girl  
* When people say its sad  
  
You know it cant be bad  
  
& any other day I'd be soul destroyed  
  
But now I can't afford to listen  
  
To a word they say  
  
& of all of the times we had  
  
O the ultimate night  
  
Didn't taste right  
You know its funny, I could talk forever and it wouldn't amount to anything. I can talk about anything really, just to keep from the silence. Cause that's why, cause I cant affored to stop and listen to anything, or be quiet for to long. Too many bad memories. I wonder if its like that for any of the other guys. Well, no, just Heero. He's always so quiet, I wonder if it because he thinking of them, or forcing them away. No, I guess its just me. My big mouth always gets me into trouble, but I still wont stop talking. Heero must think I'm crazy. I hope not. Or maybe that works for him? Reelena certainly seems nuts, so maybe. I tell him things, hints droped, you know? But he must be oblivious. I told him straight out, once, but he was drunk, I think.I even got a kiss, but with the taste of alcohol, it just didn't taste right.  
True words that I should know  
  
Blood on my hands  
  
When you look around, I couldn't be found  
  
A crimes a crime  
  
I'll have to pay  
Ok, so that's my fault, I got him drunk, but you gotta under stand, I had to tell him. With all this chaos in my head, I had to tell him, whether he understands or no. To much time alone in my precious Deathscythe in space, no one can hear you scream up there, you know? I know because I tried it. We were in radio silence, all the radios off, I just started screaming, yelling, whatever, until I couldn't anymore and I was all horse. It made me feel. empty.Something I was not used to at all. Well, not in my head at least. Usually I have something going in my head, but now all of me was empty. I think I scared the guys when we went into battle, later, 'cause I talked so little. I think they thought I went sane, which for me is bad, as bad as me getting into coffee, or sugar.mmm.Sugar.  
  
Being insane isn't all that bad, I mean, not for a while yet, at least. I guess I'm still to young to regret.  
Now I find myself in thigh deep  
  
Too young for the worst of my mind  
  
You whisper behind me  
  
"If I may make so bold"  
  
Call it young & wild  
  
But I ran a mile in a minute  
  
& there's no going back  
.but I still do. To many missed opportunities. To many I could have saved, or not killed, or. or. Well, its to late, there's no going back now. But Heero.I still have time. I can still tell him. Maybe. Standing out in the cold night, once, I wondered if where I was now is my true home. Maybe I lost it, long ago, or maybe its still out there, waiting. I want to Take Heero with me, tell him, have him say that he feels the same way, but for now it will just remain the way it is; I see him, say hello, talk nonstop for a while while he types incessantly on that laptop pf his, then say goodbye, and go off, maybe to see my Death Scythe, or talk to Quatre, or whatever, until our next mission. Sometimes I hope I die on one, one day, so maybe I can shut my mind up into nothing, and sink into that blessed oblivion, and hope that the boys will acknowledge my death with a head nod or such. Maybe then I'll be clean of all the invisible blood on my hands.  
  
But I don't think so. They wont let me die just yet. I still have my time to pay for everything I've done, so I'll just put up with it, maybe it'll make me stronger somehow. Maybe.But I'll still be insane. Until he notices, says something, I'll be insane. He's got to notice soon, surely he'll see.I love him.Isn't obvious? Surely.  
True word that I should know  
  
Blood on my hands  
  
When you looked around I couldn't be found  
  
A crimes a crime  
  
I'll have to pay  
  
True words I said to myself  
  
As the wind chilled my bones  
  
"home alone  
  
You call that a late night?"  
  
When people say you're dead  
  
You know you've caught their eye  
  
& on any other day I'd be soul destroyed  
  
But that's just not the way now  
  
I don't mind telling you  
  
Nothing is quite what it seems  
  
True words that I should know  
  
Must have been blood on my hands  
  
When you look around I couldn't be found  
  
A crime's a crime but I don't mind  
  
True words that I should know well  
  
But surely by now  
  
I could say to myself  
  
"The days are getting longer so  
  
I'd better get stronger fast"  
  
Surely by now?  
So what do ya think? Its my first songfic, but I'm working on another one called "Goodbye" that's about Duo, too. Anyways, be on the look out for that one soon, K? Well, I gotta go before Mom yells at me for making her be late. Remember, IF YOU READ IT REVIEW IT! Not just on mine, but other people, too. Its just courteous.  
  
BYE!^_^ 


End file.
